Most of the time, I find myself struggling with how I perceive age and how I believe others see me in regards to my age. In my mind, I am very young. I am 26 and I constantly feel like a child in the workforce and that everyone around me is a “grown-up” and has it all together. I also should add that I am the oldest of three girls in my family so, I find comfort in being the oldest because I associate it with being a leader and role model for my sisters.
I graduated college about 5 years ago and I have been at the same company for the majority of those years. In those several years, I have gone from being an entry-level Business Development Representative (BDR) to Account Manager to now Customer Success Manager. Given I started in an entry-level role, I find myself constantly trying to prove to those around me that I am worthy of my promotions despite the hard work I have done to get them. I also find myself constantly comparing myself to my colleagues on where they are at in their careers based on age.
A real-life example of this – we recently had a company party in person and everyone on our team went out for drinks after and everyone was talking about their husbands/wives/kids and I have never felt so young. I instantly felt like a child and that everyone around me had their lives together and I didn’t but yet, here we are in the same role so naturally, I felt that I must not be “deserving” to be here given I am too young which is not the case but I found myself having to remind myself of this.
I also find myself falling into this mindset when I look to others in my network – I see women who have gone from individual contributors to managers to directors and then on to VPs and find myself upset for not being farther along when there is a substantial age and experience difference that there is no reason as to why I should even be comparing myself to them when I am well aware that everyone’s journey is different but I feel like lately, I have been having to remind myself of that more frequently.
What I am realizing is that to overcome these “imposter thoughts” I need to not see experience being the equivalent to age. Experience is equal to value so by focusing on the value I bring to the table I feel like I can have more authentic conversations with those around me which ultimately bring more joy to my life than ones where I am pretending to be someone I am not.
I mentioned in my last post that I have been reading Brené Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection (which I cannot recommend enough), and in this book, she talks about how people who live a wholehearted life are people who show up as their authentic self and through all this work I have been doing on myself I am realizing that is true. I have done my fair share of people-pleasing over the past 26 years and have realized that in the relationships where I am most happy, I am comfortable showing up as authentic, Cym!
A real-life example of this – I recently brought up this “age imposter syndrome” feeling to my manager. I expressed how I sometimes feel like a child in this role where everyone else on the team has their whole life together and I feel like I am constantly working to prove I deserve to be in this role at my age. Through our conversation, she helped me realize that experience holds so much value and I need to bring that to the table vs my insecurities about feeling young. Later that same day in a different conversation with my manager she brought up how her daughter has been playing, Jojo’s music around the house, and because of my age, I knew she was talking about Jojo Siwa. We then chatted about Jojo and how she is a great role model for kids and how she is crushing it on Dancing with the Stars. I was only able to contribute to this conversation due to my age because I love TikTok and have been following Jojo on the app for quite some time. I am realizing that my age doesn’t have to always be seen as a negative thing – there can be benefits of being young.
So at the end of the day who is “authentic” Cym Rogers…
I am currently getting my own life advice from Emma Chamberlain’s podcast Anything Goes and Brené Brown’s Book, The Gifts of Imperfection. (one who is 20 and one who is 55 – talk about an example of experience not equivalent to age)
I love empowering other women by sharing my own personal stories and experiences.
As I mentioned above, I love TikTok! (customers if you want to talk strategy, I am so down!)
I need to spend time outside moving around to fuel my soul – walking, biking, swimming, skiing so I have been prioritizing times for this type of rest in my work schedule.
When I hear the term “boy bands” despite being born in the ’90s, I think of One Direction and The Jonas Brothers, not NYSNC and Backstreet Boys. (I am going to see Harry Styles live next Monday!!!)
While some of these things are “age-specific” at the end of the day, I am realizing when I am not hyper-focused on age and more focused on experience and being my authentic self – my conversations, mental wellbeing, and overall life has more joy which my ultimate goal.
If any of this resonates with you or you feel the same way let me know – I love talking about this kind of stuff ☺
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