I haven't shared any of my writings lately because I kept getting stuck. I kept feeling like I had to justify what I have been doing during my days since I got laid off. I thought I had to show that I was still "working" despite not having a corporate job. I thought I had to be productive just to be productive. I was so so so wrong & only realized recently that this was the case.
Getting laid off SUCKS. Big time. I got laid off from a company, position, and team that I loved which made things only harder for me to grasp. I am grateful that I have spent the past few years, doing a lot of work to silence the self-sabotaging hyper achiever voice in my brain. You know that voice that tells you, "I should be doing more or I am not doing enough." This layoff, made that voice come back real quick and real loud! I couldn't help but think, "I didn't do enough" or "my impact wasn't worthy enough for the company". I am thankful for the work I have been doing these past years, my coach, and my therapist as they have been helping me navigate these voices & find peace after losing my job, that I really loved.
Instead of looking at my layoff as result of me not doing "enough" I started to look at it though a new lens. My layoff has helped me realize the power of my drive. I have been trying to file for unemployment for over two months now and last week I finally was able to do so!!! I unfortunately had a fraud issue connected to my previous last name that required me to attend a virtual trial to clear it all up! It has been a hassle but I haven't given up! This proved to my brain that I have the ability to do hard things even when everything feel so unstable and uncertain.
My lay off also helped me realize that I am also a great teacher & coach with a whole lot of patience. I have trained Carly (my 5 month puppy), to be potty trained, crate trained, and off-leash with other dogs! I have spent most of my energy and time here, but it helped me gain clarity for my future in my next corporate role.
In the past two months, I also launched my new coaching website and instagram account. These experiences made me realize my passion for helping others. I love being able to wake up and coach my dog & clients to grow and learn. If I could find a corporate job, like a Sales Enablement role I would be able to continue this passion and help a full team of people grow & learn!
Growth and impact are my top two values and to find a career in which I can do both has been my goal. I want to help a sales team grow and make a difference in a company's sales numbers. If the company is also on a mission to create an impact with what they do - even better!
For a hyper achiever, pause & rest are both VERY challenging to do. I felt like anytime I wasn't looking for work or being "productive" I was wasting my life away. If you follow my instagram (@theimpostersyndromecoach) you will be familiar with these cards (see pic) as I do weekly pulls for my followers. Anyways, a few weeks ago I pulled this spirit junkie card (it's safe to slow down, relax, and let go) as I was heading to yoga to give me something to meditate on. As I walked into the class the yoga teacher put random cards with one word on them to help give people a word to focus on during the class. Getting the word PAUSE after pulling that card 10 mins prior, was a BIG, SLOW THE F**K DOWN message from the universe and I finally decided to trust it. Since slowing down, things have seemed to flow so much more naturally in every aspect of my life. It's funny how sometimes we need to slow down to move forward yet, our in our society that can feel so wrong to do.
During this tough period, I've learned to appreciate my worth outside of work even more. I have become much more comfortable with pausing & resting without judgment. I have been able to lean more into my values and figure out how to incorporate them into my next role. I'm excited for the journey ahead and want to use my coaching passion and corporate experience to make a difference at my next company. As I keep going on this path, I invite you to come along with me on this wild ride (and I'll be sure to post more).
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