This was my excuse for when I didn't meet the expectations I created for my hyper-achiever, self. For those who are new here, a hyper-achiever is someone dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect and self-validation. You can read more about it here!
In my previous roles, I said yes to everything, and then when things weren't done at 110% I would be super upset with myself. When managers or colleagues would ask, are you okay? I would respond with yeah, I am fine, I am just really hard on myself as if that was an acceptable thing to be.
It's been a while since I have said those words out loud and for that, I am proud of myself. I do still have some lingering resentment given I allowed myself to operate that way for so long but I am working on forgiving myself for that.
The biggest issue I have with saying, I am just hard on myself is that it is an excuse to treat my mind and body poorly on MY terms. When I started my burnout recovery journey, every week my "coaching homework" was to be kind to myself - super hard to do when you are hard on yourself.
Over several months of coaching, I was able to define what kindness looked like for me, practiced it over and over, tweaked my definition, practiced it some more, and still to this day I am practicing it - it's hard work.
Life, in general, is challenging, look at the past two years and what we have all been through. We have all experienced great loss and our lives have completely changed in some fashion. So knowing this, why was I waking up to choose to make my life harder...
We all can be our toughest critics and meanest bully, but we also can love ourselves, and accept we are humans and life is already hard so why make it harder.
Be kind to yourself - it is one of the best things you can have control over and if you are struggling speak up! I wish I did sooner. This picture was taken last April when I was really struggling but it took me until the end of June to ask for help.
Talk to a mentor, manager, or myself - there are so many resources out there and some companies can help when it comes to covering the cost of these services. I am so thankful for my previous manager and company who helped cover the cost of my coaching - as it completely changed my life!
If you are a hyper achiever like me asking for help can also be a struggle - YOU GOT THIS.
If I didn't get help - you wouldn't be reading this blog!
Comments