I have always thought of myself as a woman with dominant masculine energy. The energy I put out in the world tends to avoid feelings and emotions as they are only distractions from being productive (or so I thought that was true). I tend to see others as competition versus connections which creates a lot of internal jealousy from comparison. I also tend to focus more on results versus the journey which has created this off-balance within myself.
Recently, I have been trying to channel more of my feminine energy to create more balance. I didn’t know where to start but I had this internal craving for something different because I felt off in some indescribable way. My masculine dominant energy has had a huge impact on my burnout struggles but has also helped me become the confident bold woman I am today. I don't want to lose that part of me but, I crave more of a balance of the two energies.
This week I put a focus on finding more of a balance and here are my findings ☺️
The first thing I needed to do was define feminine energy for myself - to me it’s creative, nurturing, expressive, feeling, and connected to mother nature. I feel like I embrace this energy today but not on the level I would like to. Sure, I blog, write LinkedIn posts, and work a 9-5 where I can think strategically and creatively but, it isn't enough to outbalance the dominant masculine energy I find myself carrying today.
This week spent my Tuesday morning at the healing spring I found last month. I took off my shoes and let my bare feet connect to the ground and I felt so much more connected to my surroundings and mother nature. This is where I journaled about my definition of feminine energy (see paragraph above).
On Wednesday, I took a yoga class from the Under Belly Yoga program. The vibes were immaculate! I used to be a 4 day a week Core Power girlie but stopped due to a bunch of reasons. One of my reasons was that I hated being the biggest woman in the room. I let this insecurity take away my ability to be present and enjoy the class. The way my body looks doesn't impact my feminine energy and after Wednesday's class I felt that to be true for the first time in my life. The instructor was bold and loud but she was also sensual and passionate - a perfect balance of what I have been looking to achieve energy wise.
Thursday, I completed day 2 of Carolyn Stine’s Provocateur 3-day challenge, and oof… it was a tough one. The challenge was all about unmasking who we are and how we show up (a perfect topic for me). I have always masked myself with more masculine energy because it felt safe. It felt safe because so much of our society is built off masculine energy. The idea that we need to be strong, mentally tough, productive constantly, and be providing at all times is how so many of us are raised. I personally think this is why so many men struggle with opening up about mental health issues - they are told that showing emotions is feminine energy when in reality all humans must channel both energies to find balance within.
We all have both energies within us - feminine and masculine. One tends is more dominant than the other naturally, which for me has created this "off balance" feeling. My current goal is to strengthen my feminine energy. I want to create a stronger balance between the two. I believe that by defining what these energies are and by playing around with them we can find a balance within ourselves that allows us to show up as our most true authentic selves.
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