Two weeks ago, I interviewed for a role internally and last week, I found out I didn’t get it.
Prior to interviewing, I went back and forth in my head if I should tell anyone about this exciting opportunity. This was my first interview for a leadership position, so as you can imagine, I was hyped up to even have the opportunity to interview in the first place. I was looking forward to being able to grow my career and personal development given all the new challenges and obstacles this new role would bring.
I have found that in the “corporate world,” so many things feel secretive to discuss especially when it comes to promotions, internal interviews, salaries, and future career development paths. This creates so much shame in the workplace. Brené Brown has this quote, “Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is to hide or bury our story. When we bury our story, the shame metastasized.” That quote is a big reason why I started this blog in the first place. I hated feeling embarrassed and alone in the workplace when I was struggling with being burnt out.
I know not everyone is comfortable speaking up about things like this and that’s why I share my stories. I hope to make others feel less alone and embarrassed. By sharing my stories, so many people have opened up to me with their own or have shared how relatable my content has been. Stories and comments like these put out the fire of shame in the workplace.
As you probably can guess, I ended up telling people that I was interviewing for this role. The people I did tell, helped me prep for my interview in many different ways. I was supported through words of encouragement, I was challenged to think about my own personal leadership philosophy, I was taught by stories of past experiences, and most importantly, I was feeling loved.
It’s incredible the sense of community a great network can provide! (check out my “board of directors” blog post if you are looking to start building your own personal community, they come in handy for moments like this ☺)
Finding out I didn’t get the role was absolutely heartbreaking. I will not sugarcoat this – there were lots of tears. The thing that helped me the most was that I could turn to “my people” with this news and I didn’t feel the expected embarrassment or shame I thought I would have felt when I was stressing if I weren’t to get the role.
As a hyper-achiever, I easily find myself stuck measuring my self-worth by my achievements and accomplishments. I was prepared for my brain to trigger the “self-worth alarms” when I heard the news but, my brain didn’t…which was a first. It told me, that things are going to be okay and that despite not getting this role, I knew my people will still love and support me. AND guess what, they did! My people supported me with more love than I could have ever imagined. I felt incredibly lucky to be surrounded by so many people. You know who you are and know that I cannot thank you enough! 💖
Shame sucks. It shrinks us down. It tells us we are not enough. It floods our brains with negativity. The only way to combat it is by sharing your story and not letting it win.
You don’t get to win with this one, shame!
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