I have no goals set for 2023.
I did this intentionally because I need to focus on my self-trust.
I have spent the last 20+ years creating goals for myself. It started when I was young - getting high honors in school, swimming a personal best at my next meet, saving $100 from my job to buy something that I had wanted with my own money... you get the point, I was a goal-focused girl and that hasn't changed.
At the end of 2022, I had a coaching session with my coach that kept going in circles. I told her all the things I wanted to do and when she questioned when I was going to do them all, I struggled to fit everything into place. On top of that, I already had a docket of things that were already bound to happen, whether I had a goal to do it or not.
My list looked like this...
- find a new apartment (by the ocean, allow dogs, close to Sean's work)
- move into a new apartment
- finalize wedding planning (there is SO much that can go here...hair, makeup, invites, guest lists, flowers, cake.... you get it)
- plan bachelorette party (delegated this one to my sisters but it was a hard one to give up)
- get married
- get a puppy (research breeds and breeders and find one that has a litter available post-wedding)
- plan and go on already booked vacations (I went to FL twice this winter, Texas this spring, and just finished planning my mini-moon post-wedding)
- host a retreat for my coaching clients
- coach at least 10 more clients in 2023
- post on my blog weekly (that is not happening)
- post on LinkedIn daily (that is kind of happening)
- meet Alli (my coach, boss, and friend) in person
- read 52 books
- spend more time on my hobbies (painting, reading, writing)
Alli suggested I ditch my list and the thought made me want to vomit. HOW was I going to achieve anything, if I didn't have my list of goals? I thought, no way - I cannot give up my list of goals. This aggressive and combative reaction was all I needed to prove to myself that I needed to ditch the list and dive head-first into 2023 with no goals.
So here we are, halfway through the year, and guess what - I am still alive & breathing. I also have achieved a TON of beautiful things and have accomplished things I didn't even have on my radar because I have had so much more mental capacity to think outside of the box.
My year with no goals has been awesome and I am realizing I am a gal who shouldn't create goals for herself. This sounds CRAZY. I know. However, because I haven't been so stressed and focused on my goals I have been able to live my life and enjoy it.
I moved to the most incredible perfect apartment by the beach that allows dogs!! There is a beach cafe 10 mins away that has beach yoga daily and offers surf lessons which I just started to take! If I am not here blogging, working, or coaching - I am probably there! 😁
I have embraced the wedding planning process by having fun with it and by being more present vs stressing over getting things done to JUST check them off a list.
SEAN AND I ARE GETTING A PUPPY!!!! ( a yellow lab coming early this fall, I'm thrilled)
I got certified as an ADHD coach by Leanne & ADHD Works which created many friendships that I am eternally grateful for! I feel like a UK trip has to be in the books soon, so I can meet all my new connections in person!
I have taken on 5 new coaching clients this year while also crushing it at my corporate job!
I have used my coaching skills & tools to help develop and strengthen the mentorship program at Movable Ink for Movable Pink (Women's ERG)
I was on my 1st ever podcast with the most incredible host, Maartje Bakker (The Unconventional Career Coach)!!!! Check it out here!
I am in 3 book clubs which had led to me reading 24 books this year! I realized that when I am less worried about the number of books I have read, I enjoy the books WAY MORE.
I had an incredible bachelorette party last weekend that felt like a retreat (next summer will be the time I host one - I can feel it!!!!) We did yoga, breath work, tapping, beach walks, crafts, and spent lots of time chatting over good food!
I spend my free time indulging in my passions. I have been LOVING painting by numbers, reading, reiki, and attending workshops and cacao circles at nearby yoga studios to help me build a community here in my new town.
I started to centralize all my poems and write more of them to potentially publish a book someday!
I have done a lot of work and I mean A LOT of work on how to live in my body without hating it. I have used my coach, several therapists, a new PCP who is a Health at Every Size physician, an ED support group, podcasts, and books to help. I can't say I have the magic words to help you too find this kind of radical acceptance, but unlearning diet culture and my internalized fear of being fat has been quite a wild ride. It's slowly getting easier, but has been a challenge, to say the least! It's not something you can work through alone - that is all I can say and know!
Finally, I met Alli in person and it was incredible. All I have to say is that there were lots of happy tears!
A lot of the goals on my original list were completed but, because I didn't have a goal to get them done - the pressure was relieved and I was able to work on these without added stress. Having goals can be a good thing but for me, I realized they are not necessary. They don't make me "more successful" or achieve greater and better things! This year has been one of the most beautiful years I have ever had. I feel more alive, loved, creative, excited, and happy and I will give a ton of credit to not having any goals.
If you are a hyper achiever like myself, try it out. Start now, no goals for the rest of the year. See what happens?
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