Community.
I used to think this word was stupid. Who needs a "community" when you have friends, family, and co-workers? Well, as it turns out, I do. After college, I found myself no longer living hop and a skip away from my best friend. And then, when the pandemic lockdown ended, both my sisters returned to school—one to Ohio and the other to DC. Meanwhile, I never went back to an office for work. My friends, family, and co-workers were all scattered miles apart, leaving me feeling disconnected and lonely. That's when I decided to build my own virtual community. I started writing on LinkedIn every day and, through that, I built many close real friendships! Friends I've had the pleasure to meet in person or have plans to visit soon!
two of my favorite Linkedin community friends
My virtual community is amazing, but it lacks that real-life human connection. I will add that I did get to have some of my Linkedin friends attend my wedding which was so special but, again seeing them was a special occasion!
My husband's family and most of his friends live nearby, so he enjoys the luxury of seeing them often. This left me feeling a bit jealous and lonely. So, when we moved in May, I decided to take action and began attending beach yoga classes as a way to build my own in-person community.
I tried out several classes, led by 3 different instructors, each with a unique approach. My favorite class was the one where the instructor took time before the class to chat with everyone about what they wanted to focus on. (For me, it's almost always my shoulders—I carry a lot of tension there. If you do too, do yourself a favor and pause to do a few shoulder shrugs to shake off some of that tension!)
Once I realized this was the instructor and class for me, I made it a Saturday ritual to attend the class on the beach every weekend at 8 a.m. Each week, I started recognizing more familiar faces and began having conversations with them. Soon, I expanded my yoga practice by attending classes during the week at her incredible studio, Ride The Wave! (If you're ever in Newburyport, MA, I highly recommend checking it out!)
About a month ago, during one of her classes, I mentioned that I was seeking stress relief as my wedding day was coming up and I needed to connect with my body and get out of my mind. Weeks passed and I continued attending her classes 2-3 times a week, all the while making new connections.
A few days before my wedding, during class, the instructor surprised me with a card and a small gift to help me destress before my big day! I felt honored and filled with love, realizing that I had achieved what I set out to do—I had found my community.
Post honeymoon, my husband and I welcomed a puppy into our life and since then my in person community has continued to grow! Everyone in my apartment complex has a dog, so every day, I meet more of my neighbors!
If you're feeling lost, lonely, or simply want to make cool new friends, here are a few tips I'd like to share:
Find like-minded individuals. If you enjoy making art, look for a studio near you with open hours. If cooking is your passion, search for a cooking class. Google, Facebook, and Eventbrite are fantastic resources to find events for like-minded individuals.
Don't rush the process. It took me about 6 yoga classes to feel comfortable striking up conversations with those familiar faces in the class. Don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't happen right away. Building great communities takes time.
Be open to new experiences! If you enjoy spending time outdoors, consider taking a class from LLBean or REI. They even offer women's-only classes! I've found that people are often more open and willing to connect when engaged in a shared activity. Last month I attended a full moon drum circle where we did yoga and then finished the class dancing and playing drums. It was a blast and TOTALLY out of my comfort zone!
Over the past two years, "community" has become a significant pillar in my life. As I continue to navigate this remote work world, I've come to understand how essential and impactful a strong community can be.
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